Monday, 30 April 2012

How to Raise a Responsible Child

Wife sudah now for children...this article was taken from

We all want to raise responsible children.  And we all want to live in a world where others have been raised to be responsible, a world where adults don’t shrug off their responsibilities as citizens.  As my son said, surveying the littered park when he was three, "Don't grownups know they have to clean up their own messes?"- Dr. Laura Markham

So how do we raise our kids to take responsibility for their choices and their impact on the world?

Children don't want just to be doted on.  They need, like the rest of us, to feel like they matter to the world, like their lives make a positive contribution. 
Children need to see themselves as response-able -- powerful and able to respond to what needs to be done.  They need this for their self esteem, for their lives to have meaning, and also so they'll learn to handle themselves responsibly in the world.

The bottom line is that kids will be responsible to the degree that we support them to be.  Here, 14 everyday strategies guaranteed to increase your kids’ “response-ability” quotient.

1. Teach that we always clean up our own messes. Begin by helping your child, until she learns it.  She'll learn it faster if you can be cheerful and kind about it and remember not to worry about spilled milk.  Encourage her to help by handing her a sponge as you pick one up yourself, even when it's easier to do it yourself. (And it’s almost always easier to do it yourself.) As long as you aren't judgmental about it--so she isn't defensive--she'll want to help clean up and make things better.
So when your toddler spills her milk, say "That's ok. We can clean it up," as you hand her a paper towel and pick one up yourself.  When your preschooler leaves her shoes scattered in your path, hand them to her and ask her to put them away, saying kindly "We always clean up our own stuff."
You will have to do this, in one form or another, until they leave your home.  But if your kids learn early that "Everyone is responsible for their own messes,” they will not only be easier for you to live with, they will be better citizens of the world.

2. Kids need an opportunity to contribute to the common good. All children contribute to the rest of us in some way, regularly.  Find that way and comment on it, even if it is just noticing when she is kind to her little brother or that the rest of the family enjoys how she’s always singing.  Whatever behaviors you acknowledge will grow. 
As your children get older, their contributions should increase appropriately, both within and outside the household.  Kids need to grow into two kinds of responsibilities: their own self care, and contributing to the family welfare.  Research indicates that kids who help around the house are also more likely to offer help in other situations than kids who simply participate in their own self care. 
Of course, you can't expect them to develop a helpful attitude overnight.  It helps to steadily increase responsibility in age appropriate ways.  Invite toddlers to put napkins on the table,  three year olds to set places.  Four year olds can match socks, and five year olds can help you groom the dog.  Six year olds are ready to clear the table, seven year olds to water plants, and eight year olds to fold laundry.

3. Remember that no kid in his right mind wants to do "chores."  Unless you want your child to think of contributing to the family as drudgery, don't "make" him do chores without you when he's little. Your goal isn't getting this job done, it's shaping a child who will take pleasure in contributing and taking responsibility.  Make the job fun.  Give as much structure, support, and hands-on help as you need to, including sitting with him and helping for the first thirty times he does the task, if necessary.  Know that it will be much harder than doing it yourself.  Remind yourself that there's joy in these tasks, and communicate that, along with the satisfaction of a job well done. Eventually, he will  be doing these tasks by himself.  That day will come much faster if he enjoys them.

4. Rather than simply giving orders, try asking your child to do the thinking.  For instance, to the dallying child in the morning, instead of barking "Brush your teeth!  Is your backpack packed?  Don't forget your lunch!," you could ask "What do you need to do to get ready for school?" The goal is to keep them focused on their list, morning after morning, until they internalize it and begin managing their own morning tasks.

5. Provide routines and structure.   These are crucial in children’s lives for many reasons, not the least of which is that it gives them repeated opportunities to manage themselves through a series of not especially inviting tasks.  First, they master the bedtime routine and cleaning up toys and getting ready in the morning.  Then they develop successful study habits and grooming habits.  Finally, they learn basic life skills through repetition of household routines like doing laundry or making simple meals.

6. Teach your child to be responsible for her interactions with others.  When your daughter hurts her little brother's feelings, don't force her to apologize.  She won't mean it, and it won't help him.  Instead, ask her what she can do to make things better between them.  Read him a story?   Help him with his chore of setting the table?  Give him a big hug?  This teaches children that their treatment of others has a cost, and that they're responsible for repairs when they do damage.

7. Hold your kids accountable for damaged goods.  If kids help pay for lost library books and cell phones, windows broken by their baseball, or tools they've left out to rust from their 
own savings, the chances of a repeat infraction are slim.

8. Don’t rush to bail your child out of a difficult situation.  Be available for problem-solving, helping him work through his feelings and fears, and to insure that he doesn’t just sidestep the difficulty, but let him handle the problem herself, whether it requires offering an apology or making amends in a more concrete way.

9. Model responsibility and accountability.  "It's a pain to carry this trash till we get to the car, but I don't see a trashcan and we never litter.”  “This sign says parking is reserved for handicapped people, so of course we can't take that spot."   Keep your promises to your child, and don't make excuses.  If you don’t follow through when you promise to pick up that notebook he needs for school, or play that game with him on Saturday, why should he be responsible about keeping his promises and agreements?

10. Never label your child as "Irresponsible," because the way we see our kids is always a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Instead, teach him the skills he needs to be responsible.  If he always loses things, for instance, teach him to stop anytime he leaves somewhere -- his friend's house, school, soccer practice -- and count off everything he needs to take home.

11. Teach your kids to make a written schedule.  It may seem like overkill, but in our busy 21st century lives, all kids need to master this skill by high school, or they simply won’t get everything done.  Begin on weekends during middle school, or earlier, if their schedule is busy.  Just take a piece of paper, list the hours of the day on the left, and ask your child what he needs to get done this weekend.  Put in the baseball game, piano practice, the birthday party, and all the steps of the science project – shop for materials, build the volcano, write and print out the description.  Add downtime -- go for ice cream with dad, chill and listen to music.  Most kids find this keeps their stress level down, since they know when everything will get done.  Most important, it teaches them to manage their time and be responsible about their commitments.

12. All kids need the experience of working for pay, which teaches them real responsibility in the real world.  Begin by paying your eight year old to do tasks you wouldn’t normally expect of him (washing the car, weeding the garden), then encourage him to expand to odd jobs in the neighborhood (walk the neighbor’s dog or offer snow shoveling service in the winter), move on to mother’s helper/babysitting jobs when it’s age appropriate, and finally take on after-school or summer jobs.  Few settings teach as much about responsibility as the world of working for pay.

13. Create a No-Blame Household.  We all, automatically, want to blame someone when things go wrong.  As if fixing blame prevents a recurrence of the problem, or absolves us of responsibility.  In reality, blaming makes everyone defensive, more inclined to watch their back -- and to attack -- than to make amends.  It's the #1 reason kids lie to their parents.  Worse yet, when we blame them, kids find all kinds of reasons it wasn't really their fault -- at least in their own minds -- so they're less likely to take responsibility and the problem is more likely to repeat.
Blame is the opposite of unconditional love.  So why do we do it?  To help us feel less out of control, and because we can't bear the suspicion that we also had some role, however small, in creating the situation. Next time you find yourself automatically beginning to blame someone, stop.  Instead, accept any responsibility you can – it’s good practice to overstate your responsibility – without beating yourself up.  (You're modeling, remember?) Then, just accept the situation. You can always come up with better solutions from a state of acceptance than a state of blame.

14.  Teach your kids that as Eleanor Roosevelt said, they not only have the right to be an individual, they have an obligation to be one.  Studies show that people who take responsibility in any given situation are people who see themselves as willing to be different and stand out.  That's the kind of kid you want to raise.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

sesuai ngan tajuk main masak2

adoi ai nyah.. disebabkan teringin nak mkn roti jala, terpaksa la masak sendiri. smlm ku beli Tefal crep party compact, yg sebenarnye tuk buat pancake. tp krn innovation hheeh ku jadikan sbg tools tuk buat roti jala. menarik gitu. tak yah guna pan leper n tak yah buat byk kali. kalu yg ini skali buat dpt 4. Bernas tak:))
tp sbb first time buat hmmm tgk la hasilnye...tak berapa semenggah. roti jala ku menjadi sgt la comel saiznye...hahahah...uhuk rindu roti jala cafe pak ya kat opis.

Monday, 23 April 2012

Food Galore...

hah lupa daaa... 2 ari lepas ada crita pasal nk buat bubur pulut hitam... so ni la dia hasilnye... rasa hmmm bos kata ok. saya mmg tak suka makan bubur yg manis2 ni. tp disebabkan bahan ada bawak dr kl ari tu, n kebetulan pulak mlm smlm ada usrah tuk father so terjadi la bubur pulut hitam ni. siap letak gula melaka lagi...


i feel soooo sad today...hmmmm

Food Galore....

hmm today feel like nk buat kek. apa lg cake choc. but this time letak dlm cup cake.. pastu for make it hapening my two heroes akan tabur some sort of choc rise for deco.. hmm seronok la dia org. mcm hazim sambil letak kat cake sambil masuk mulut... bertuah betul:)))
ni la hasil nye...

Food Galore-

This was last week menu for lunch. Gulai Tempoyak Daun Kayu. Its a famous dish for org nogori. ingredients dia such as pucuk labu, daun kaduk, pucuk ubi, serai, jantung pisang,daun kunyit hmm what else ek. actually any daun ulam yg blh dibuat mkn can be in the gulai. and the most important santan n of coz tempoyak n cili padi. cara masak sama mcm masak lemak cili padi just tambah tempoyak at the end. tu je.... hmmm kalu my mum buat sooo walahhhhh.. tp yg i buat ni so so jer. janji lepas rindu.. uhukkk.. so tgk la hasil nye ni....

Saturday, 21 April 2012


hishhh camne la nk ubah blog ni. letih la. any ideas out there. Susah tul nk customize. i want it to be simple. ni gambar susah nk arrange.. adoi ai.. mmg kene mengadap benda ni. itu yg malas. maklum la kita ni baru nk berjinak ngan blog.. kalu tukar ke wordpress blh tak ek. tolonggg la kut2 ada idea camne nk bg blog ni menarik dr segi presentation like ulos punye blog.. dah fenin ni...

tido la camni...zzzzzzzz

hmmm mcm nk buat bubur pulut hitam..

yuhii... terasa nak buat bubur pulut hitam. since balik ari tu mak ada bekalkan pulut hitam, gula melaka, hmm insyaAllah esok nk try buat. tp frust sbb terlupa nk bwk daun pandan. bukan daun je esen pandan pun tak bwk. hope that hubby tak lupa kirim kat member dia yg nk balik riyadh dlm masa terdekat ni...
ok insyaAllah kalu jadi will upload the making of bubur pulut hitam... hehehe
check it out!!!!:))

Hukum Allah S.W.T

Hukum Qisas terhadap seorang lelaki sudan yang telah melakukan jenayah bunuh terhadap wanita arab saudi, merompak, merogol perempuan selepas kematiannya dan cubaan meletipkan rumah wanita tersebut dilaksanakan petang jumaat selepas solat Asar semalam 20/4/2012 di Nassim, Riyadh. Ribuan manusia menyaksikan pelaksanaan hukuman Allah. Rakyat Malaysia beserta pelajar2 Malaysia di Riyadh juga tidak melepaskan peluang untuk bersama2 menyaksikan kejadian ini dan mengambil iktibar dan pengajaran.
Hendaklah kita sentiasa berdoa semoga kita mati husnus khatimah.

nak tgk kat: http:// (student malaysia yg berada di tempat kejadian)

Allahuakhbar...Ini hukum Allah di dunia, di Akhirat... Ya Allah ampunkan la dosa hambamu ini...

Anakanda Aeyman Haziq & Ahmad Hazim

hmm sikit crita pasal Aeyman Haziq ank sulung ku. Dah 7 tahun. Alhamdullillah his already get used dgn skul at Al Rowad Int. Sc. Sebelum ni umi risau sgt takut haziq tak leh nk catch up ngan environment n education kat sini. dah la haziq terus msk 2nd sem grade 1.
Tp MasyaAllah, he really make me proud. He can speak n write, understand n catch up easily. And surprisingly he can do his homework on his own. From his teachers comments so far sume excellent. Alhamdullillah.

Ahmad Hazim.Dah 4 tahun. hmm tersgt la petah bercakap n terror main game. cepat je dia blh control controller. their favorites game ape lagi HALO.. dari mula sampai latest sume ada. pastu skrg pandai lak nk mintak skylander..hmm dr games sampai la ke toys..InsyaAllah buka sem ni Hazim akan masuk KG. Dia dah blh baca doa makan, doa mulakan perjalanan, dan boleh tulis from A to Z with guidance. Sian Hazim, at his age patut nye umi n ayah dah hantar g kinddy yg bagus like ur brother before this. kalu kat m'sia mmg umi dah enroll kan hazim kat the beacon house dekat rmh uwan tu. n mlm lak umi hantar g enopi or smart reader mcm abg. tp kat sini different. kinddy kat international school. InsyaAllah will enroll u soon.

Anakandaku Haziq n Hazim,umi doakan semoga both of u dipermudahkan dari menuntut ilmu sehinggalah sebesar2
urusan di dunia dan akhirat. Semoga Haziq n Hazim menjadi anak yg soleh dan berjaya didunia dan akhirat.
Umi n Ayah akan sentiasa doakan yg terbaik untuk anakanda.
Aeyman Haziq
Ahmad Hazim


Sekarang nk masuk musim summer. weather in Riyadh really unpredictable. Here the weather is extremely hot during summer n extremely cold during winter.
But changing climate from winter to summer in Riyadh really special. A few days ni asyik la sandstorm. Tp peraturan Allah mmg cantik... bila dah sandstorm akan diikuti ngan hujan selepas itu. MasyaAllah, Subahanallah. Indahnye aturan olehNya.

Ni gambar sandatorm masa kami nk g beli barang. masa kluar rmh cuaca sgt la cantik. half way perjalanan tetiba... subhanallah.. sekelip mata je...bumi riyadh diselubungi. perasaan masa tu
ya Allah tak dpt nk bayangkan. sume kereta start slow. tp ada gak kreta yg laju kat lane kiri... hmm pak arab ni sume dah biasa.


hmm back in Riyadh.. so apa lagi al da time skype ngan family di Malaysia.
thx to Skype sbg penghubung n pelepas rindu anak2 ngan uwan n pakcik makciknye.. so jarak tu mcm dekat je. tak de la terputus hubungan:)

Yeaaa hari yg ditunggu kami anak beranak:))

Today is the day. 28 Mac - 11 April 2012.. balik kampung a.k.a balik Mesia bercuti. walaupun sekejap tp lepas la jugak rindu. Sebenarnye banyak nk setle selain rindu, sil nk kawin, nak submit borang sambung cuti tanpa gaji, hubby nk setle payment kereta, income tax, nak jumpa sanak sedara n kengkawan ofis:).

Alhamdullillah sume nye settle dr cuti tnp gaji yg telah lulus utk 3 tahun, kelancaran majlis perkahwinan, lepas rindu pada keluarga, anak2 pun lepasgak rindu pada uwan n pakcik makciknye ngan aktiviti main boling, hubby settle sume urusan dan yg penting makan sume masakan dr mum cooking hingga la ke warung 2 yg sedap mcm ikan bakar bellamy...
Kengkawan opis pun sempat jumpa lepak hari jumaat kat mid valey. walaupun dia org skrg ni tgh peak time for APR, tp kawan tetap kawan... :))
banyak sebenarnye nk crita tp perasaan tu tak dpt nk di tulis. Apa pun short vacation mmg tak puas sebenarnye.. especially tuk anak2. Dah la dia orang ni langsung tak tido n tak ikut balik ngan ayah n umi dia. ddk rmh uwan dia selama 2 minggu tu..hmm
Masa nak balik ke riyadh di Klia, Haziq n Hazim dah mula nangis tak nk balik.. haziq byk diamkan diri, muka sedih tp tak menunjukan reaksi, hazim lak menangis bukan nk tinggal tp suruh uwan n pakcik dia ikut sekali.. hmm bijak betul bebudak ni. tp dlm flight, haziq tak tahan, airmata bergenang dan akhirnye dia menangis kesedihan. Rindu katanye.. Tak lama pastu dia org pun tertido.(uhuk sedih lak rasanya)
Nanti kita balik lagi ye sayang..

Umrah... 21 Mac 2012

Kami sekeluarga mengerjakan umrah sebelum bercuti balik m'sia. Alhamdullillah. Kali ni umrah tersangat la ramai. maybe sbb skarg school holidays di Saudi. Seperti biasa bertolak awal pagi dan sampai di masjiilharam dlm tengahari. sebenarnye kami tak booked pun hotel sebab sebelum ni try book online sume hotel penuh, tapi alhamdullillah niat yg murnindipermudahkan oleh Yang Maha Esa. 2 hari sebelum weekend, aku tey bukak booking. com dan kebetulan masa tu tgh chatting ngan noor jiran ku yg baru balik dr umrah minggu lepas. aku pun tny hotel mana dia ddk. n aku terus surf hotel yg diberikan. Hotel ni berdekatan dgn masjidilharam. satu bangunan dgn safwa hotel iaitu hotel yg penah kami menginap. turun je pintu masjidilharam. mmg kalu boleh tak nk hotel yg jauh2 sebab anak2.Ya Allah ada 3 bilik lagi available dgn harga yang agak mahal tapi berbaloi untuk peak hours time ni. Kebetulan pula suami ku balik lunch apa lagi terus booking. setelah sumenye settle, aku try online skali lagi, bilik dah habis dalam sekelip mata. Ya Allah mmg rezeki kami sekeluarga. Syukur Alhamdullilah dapat ku jejak kaki ni sekali lagi ke rumah Mu Ya Allah.
Segalanye dipermudahkan Alhamdullillah, dari penginapan sehingga lah selesai ibadah umrah. Agar umrah kami sekeluarga diterima mu Ya Allah.

layan gambar ek... oh lupa kali ni kami balik ke riyadh ikut jalan lain. perjalanan berbukit bukau..MasyaAllah sungguh cantik ciptaan yg Maha Esa...

14 Mac... Dah 8 tahun bersama...

hepi anniversary darling...perkahwinan yg memasuki usia 8 tahun. Syukur Alhamdullillah. dikurniakan 2 orang anak yg soleh, bijak masyaAllah. semoga ikatan perkahwinan ini dibawah lindungan Mu Ya Allah.doa ku semoga sentiasa menjadi isteri yg solehah dan aku berdoa agar aku menjadi ketua bidadari untuk mu wahai suami ku. InsyaAllah.

hmm since kali ni anniversary berada di bumi an'biya.. jadi kami sekeluarga berangkat menunaikan umrah untuk kali ke-4. ye mmg sebelum ku ikut suami, kalu boleh aku tak nk lepaskan peluang setiap bulan ke tanah suci. itu azamku. alhamdullillah rezeki yg ku perolehi ini dimanfaatkan sebaik mungkin.
Sayang, ayang akan sentiasa memberi semnagat dan berdiri disebelah masa senang dan susah. InsyaAllah. ayang akan cuba menjadi isteri solehah seperti yg sayang slalu nasihat. Sifat keras kepala ku ini InsyaAllah akan ku cuba sedaya upaya elakkan. Ayang doakan semoa sayang berjaya, dimurahkan rezeki, ditetapkan imam dan menjadi suami, bapa dan anak yg soleh. Aminnn.

Hmm untuk kali ni no present for my hubby Hanya doa setiap hari sebagai hadiah.
dannnn ini pula pemberian dari suami tersayang...

Saturday, 14 April 2012


yuhiiii...lamanye tak update blog ku ini.....hmm actually a lot of story mory tp kemalasan telah melanda yg teramat sgt. well will try my best update story yg tertunda mcm pegi bahrain, balik mesia, besday celeb HH, hadiah aniversary from hubby, hmmm apa lg ek...oh ye hantaran my sis from my touch..heheh ok la will up later..daaaaa:)))